10 DO'S and DONT'S to
do if your loved one is addicted to an unhealthy
behaviour
- Do become informed about
addiction and recovery. Don’t regard
this as a family disgrace or write the person off as a “loser”.
- Do acknowledge what is going on (e.g.
the drinking, the gambling) and the consequences (e.g. missing family
get-togethers). Don’t nag, preach,
lecture or scold, just acknowledge the facts.
- Do acknowledge your feelings (“I’m
concerned about you”, “I’m uncomfortable being with
you when you’re drinking”). Don’t blame
or use the “if you loved me” appeal.
- Do set limits (e.g. “I’ll
only talk with you when you’re sober”) and care for yourself
(get on with your life). Don’t make
idle threats or attempt to control their addictive behaviours (drinking,
drug use, gambling).
- Do allow your loved one to take responsibility
for their addiction and its consequences. Don’t try
to protect them from drinking/using situations or “pick up the
pieces” if they drink or use.
- Do get professional help
for yourself (Alcohol & Drug Referral Service, Addictions Counsellors,
Support Groups – AA, GA, OA, Al-Anon, etc.)
- Do encourage your loved one to get help with
their problem. Don’t drink, gamble
or use with them and don’t think that “willpower” is
enough.
- Do be supportive of your
loved ones’ method of recovery. Don’t put
down A.A., counseling, etc. if it’s helping them stay clean/sober. Don’t
expect to be the one they turn to for help.
- Do have realistic expectations. Recovery
is an up and down process and doesn’t happen overnight.
- Do offer love, support and
understanding in your loved ones’ recovery process. Don’t be
surprised if you have to make some changes
as well!!
Compiled by Jan McNeill, Alcohol and Drug Counsellor, GF Strong Rehab
Centre
July 2005
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